Confidence is something that not all of us have, and it is this time of the year where some of us start losing the little bit that we do actually have. Why? Because it’s almost summer time. Which means short skirts, dresses, strappy tops and the dreaded bikini.
As a child I was loud, confident, brash and full of energy. I was always singing, dancing and performing to anybody who would listen. This, I hoped, would pave the way to me becoming a super confident adult. Oh how I was wrong!
At 21 I was a UK size 10, with G cup boobs, and at 5ft8 I looked and felt amazing… however, 9 years and 3 children later I am now a curvy size 14-16 and whilst I am not the biggest I have been I am certainly at the least confident I have ever felt.
I do try hard not to think about my size, it is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.I just carry on with my day to day life. But that sometimes can feel like a hard thing to do when a size 14 in one shop can feel like a size 12 in the next or even a 16-18 in another. The fashion industry doesn’t seem to have a standard sizing to stick to and no matter whether you are a size 8 or a size 30 this can make you lose your confidence if something doesn’t fit how you expect it to… But what I have learnt is that YOU don’t need to apologise for your body and for the way that you look.
Society tells us that we have to look a certain way, body hair on women, stretch marks, cellulite are all things that we can get put down for. We get praised if we don’t have any of these things and told we will feel better without them by the media. However, does this not just make us think that cellulite needs to be hidden? And that our hair needs to be waxed. But is this not just society trying to make us all ‘flawless’? Are your ‘flaws’ not what make you unique? It takes a lot of willpower and confidence to stand on a beach in a bikini with these ‘flaws’ on show, but why should you care? Who is REALLY looking at you? And who is too bothered checking their own ‘flaws’ to notice yours?
You know what I find really helps with my confidence? A bloody good selfie! Us girlies in the office love nothing more than trying on the latest items we have received and snapping some shots for us all to giggle at. A lot is to be said for a good camera angle and lighting. When I look at a selfie I still pick out what I think are imperfections, but I also notice the good things about me. Like my bright eyes, or my eyebrows looking good that day. On a down day, grab your phone, snap a pic and look at yourself, look at what it is about your face that everybody loves, and trust me there will be many people who love your face. Look at what YOU love. Tell yourself what your favourite part of your face is. Trust me you will love yourself for it.
Confidence may not come naturally to you; it is something that we all need to learn. Faking it can only get us so far, after all our eyes tell a huge story. To feel happy in the way you look and the way that you feel you need to stop pretending, you need to embrace what you have and stop looking at what you don’t have. We all fake things from time to time, and whilst others may not notice it, we will always know deep within.